My Sexcapades | Thats right, I'm blogging but my sex lie…

As you know, M and I have been trying to work out some kind of deal that will allow us to be together in some respect. She knows that if she wants to be with me, she’ll have to get used to the fact that I’ll be with other people as well. Even considering something like this is something completely outside of her box, if you know what I mean, but she wants to learn as much about the idea as possible. I’ve talked and talked and talked about it, but for her to understand that it isn’t just a fantasy I have, she needed to hear it from other people who have been doing it for years. Enter the Polyamory meetup group.

I was impressed at how she was genuinely excited to go with me… on her day off… 40 minutes away from her house. Words really can’ t describe how much this girl impresses me with her every action. So here we are, holding hands side by side at the front door, not knowing what to expect. The door opens. It’s a man. A very nice man who introduces us to a very nice woman. Soon we are joined by about 15 other very nice people, in a surprisingly comfortable environment. We start the meeting, and I’m immediately impressed by how well spoken and knowledgeable everyone is. We sit and listen intently, and I can tell she’s soaking it all in. I talk a little about our situation and ask the other women how they came to understand that just because her man has a need to love other women as well, doesn’t mean he doesn’t love any less. ie. How come I’m not enough for you? The most satisfactory answer explained that our definition of love may be different, and that in order to make it work, one of us would have to come to understand the other’s definition. I later thought about an analogy that compares lovers to friends. Nobody has just one friend, and having several friends doesn’t make the other friends less important. I have several best friends, and none of them get jealous of my relationship with the others.

During the break, I let her mingle and ask questions and talk to the pros while I excitedly discussed with the other members. This was extremely beneficial because she got to let her guard down and listen with an open mind, and I got to have all my thoughts and theories reinforced by nods and affirmations from the others.

The highlight of round two was a latecomer and his poly girlfriend of 20 years who have been with their other girlfriend for 11 years. They were the happiest friggin couple I have ever seen in my life. They explained the terms “primary” and “secondary” as more time and less time. One girl agreed, admitting that she is all about being a secondary because she was super busy and didn’t have the time to commit to being someone’s primary… but she liked having a maintenance free relationship she could check into any time she needed some love and affection.

Once the meetup was finished, I took M out to tacos at her favorite taqueria, and from that point on, it’s been as if we’ve reverted back to the place we were at just before we took on the title of boyfriend and girlfriend. We’re at the place where we’re best friends and lovers, but we’re not exclusive. We call it dating, and she’s fine with that for now. She knows I’m sleeping with other people, but she doesn’t want to know about it. If I pause after she asks me what I did last night, she quickly changes the question to allow for an ambiguous answer. Last week, I was leaving early for work as she was doing my laundry and making the bed. I walked up to kiss her goodbye, when she noticed something on my dresser. “What are these?” She asked, picking up someone’s earrings. “I don’t know,” I replied, kissing her on the lips and walking away. She never brought it up again.

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